Sometimes Life´s A Fairy Tale

I have always been a girl with no attitude or self-confidence. I have been the invisible one, the one you see and forget. People, I called friends fooled me lots of times, because I allowed them to do it, I never had the feeling that I maybe could be worth to fight for my right to live the way I wanted to live. I was used to be the one that was allowed to show up with groups of people but not being a real part of it. That’s been my life for a very long time and I got an arrangement with that after a while. Of course that experience wasn’t a cheap one for my soul and heart, my life collapsed one day in complete and I felt like I shouldn’t feel anymore. I got numb and cold inside, every little real emotion hidden deep inside. No friends meant no hurt, no tears anymore- I changed into some kind of a zombie (I´m sure you know, what I mean).

One mess after another happened, I couldn´t react I only acted- No one should ever know about my situation. I´ve had been a liar and pretender, think I´ve had been a very good actor.

After some time it happened, I completely lost my mind and power. I had been sure that it would be better to leave that dark and aggressive planet with all its fear and desperation.

First time I failed and I swore to myself that the next time I would give all to make it better.

I remember that I have been visiting a party short time after and this night should become the last one. I drank a lot, pretending fun. But all my thoughts were concentrated, the very last step was near (think the rest of it shouldn´t be mentioned). I was ready. Than the “DJ” changed the music, he played a song I didn´t know but it touched me, the lyrics made me cry for the very first time since years. I was kinda shocked coz of the tons of emotions in me, shocked that I had that much life in me.

So this night became not the last one it was the very beginning of something new. I tried to figure out where the song came from. It took me days to find it out. It has been “From Yesterday”. Because I got so in touch with the lyrics I wanted to know more about the music and the band and bought “A Beautiful Lie”. This album changed my life from the bottom to the top. I got a Mars-addicted, first time just with the music. The lyrics helped me out of my imaginary never ending nightmare.

With my new power I wanted to support the band which helped me to get the strength for a new life. So I started to figure out who and what 30 Seconds To Mars really are. It should become the weirdest and most amazing thing I ever took part in. I got in contact with those wonderful people, the Echelon, and these people are the goddamn motherfucking best family in the whole world. I realized that 30 Seconds To Mars is more than just a band with good music and a full of love supporting , sorry no other word for, “fanbase”. This awareness flashed me.

30 Seconds To Mars seen as the whole thing is a never ending experience, it is sometimes a tutor, sometimes a fantasy but always a helping hand.

Without Jared´s, Shannon´s and Tomo´s love for the music, the engagement , their wonderful and sometimes crazy ideas, their connection with us, without the whole family I never could have become the girl I am now.

I feel, I breathe, I love...amazing and wonderful feeling. I am not afraid anymore

I know, I can never give back all that to you guys but I will do everything to make you proud of your Echelon.

Thanks so much for open my eyes and heart, thanks so much for my life, thanks so much for my fantasy….

I love you, my family, my heartbeat… we will never fade away

Provehito in Altum

aideen