I found tomorrow in today

I can’t think of when I discovered 30 Seconds To Mars. If I really try and remember, it actually feels as though they’ve been a constant in my life since my first minutes of coherence. Those three faces have become so familiar to me, I feel I’ve seen them on the street hundreds of times.

The self-titled album became for me an escape. Songs like ‘Capricorn’ and ‘Edge of the Earth’ helped me retreat into myself and discover whole new sides of my personality that I never knew existed. When EOTE launches into “Stand out, on the edge, of the earth”, I can feel my skin prickling as I delve into my deeper states of consciousness. ‘The Mission’ courses through my veins, as if I were in some strange army situation, defending my spirit against countless enemies.

“Yeah I’ve been to Jupiter, and I’ve fallen through the air. I used to live out on the moon, but now I’m back here down on Earth. Why are you here? Are you listening? Can you here what, I am saying?” These lyrics were such a huge deal to me when I first heard them. As I listened, I was reading over the CD booklet, and I spied the mission set for us - “Find the Argus Apocraphex” - and I truly believe I found my answer in that instant. I’m still ‘searching’ now, but every day I feel that step closer to fully discovering myself.

Having been a Buddhist for over 8 years now has really, weirdly, taught me more about the music than anything else. So much ties in, makes perfect sense, and I feel a deeper connection with the lyrics through my faith.

The second album, ‘A Beautiful Lie’, signalled the dwindling in my faith. Despite some amazingly profound tracks hidden away on the CD, such as ‘From Yesterday’ (still one of my favourite music videos by far), ‘Battle of One’ and ‘Was It a Dream?’, this marked their ‘sell-out’ for me. ‘The Kill’ upset me, made me angry, and ‘A Beautiful Lie’, whilst being an unbelievable song, melted into one horrible mess with ‘The Fantasy’, also grossly overplayed. I tried hard to keep my love alive, and my faith in the band - ‘Attack’ was a great song and video, and I really loved the first three aforementioned tracks to death. Especially with ‘The Kill’, I saw people all around me trying to claim "rights" to the band, but they didn’t even know what ‘Echelon’ meant. All those awards and accolades fell on my deaf ears, and I almost lost conviction altogether.

However, I stuck with them. They were, are, have always been, my favourite band, and I couldn’t just leave them by the wayside because of one (in my opinion) poor album. I listened to other stuff, tried out new genres, and slowly forgot the pain the second album had brought. After a while, I went back to it; I fell in love. I rediscovered that tingle on my skin, that kick in my stomach, that feeling that makes us Echelon. It’s safe to say I never looked back.

Their third and current album has “reinstalled” in me that sense of belonging. I really feel a part of the Echelon when I listen to it. Songs like ‘Kings and Queens’ fill me with jubilance, and ‘This is War’ makes me want to scream to the world about Mars. I feel that personally for me, "the war" so often referenced to is against their second album, and what they became in that era. They didn't seem like themselves to me, and this album seems like their 'f*** you', to all that 'emo hype' and stereotyping. I can't get enough of it. This album makes me feel so alive within myself.

My feelings are still arising with regards to the third album, and it’s currently in my car being played every time I drive. I feel, as I go through songs one to twelve, as though I’m on a journey - like if I lay down on my bed, with headphones in, and listened intently all the way through the album, that I’d feel awakened and refreshed afterwards, with new insight into a new me.

There’ve been tough times where the music has helped me, but I wouldn’t say there were too many - mainly because since I discovered Mars, my life has changed - they have forced me to rediscover, (r)evolve, alter my (misguided) perceptions and seek the true ‘me’. I won’t ever say something as naïve as ‘this band changed my life’, because it was more indirect than that - their lyrics spoke to me in a way that helped me realise, opened my eyes to things I’d never seen.

As you can see, it’s hard for me to tell my Mars story in a short form. I’m sorry this gone on so long; this wasn’t what I was planning on!

In as little as I can: 30 Seconds To Mars have managed to re-define me as a person, to help me ‘launch forth’ into the depths of my human awareness and realise what goes on around, and within, me. Without them, and their music, a lot of things may have overcome me, and I might not be the person I am today. All I have to say is one great big thank you. To the band. To the music. To the lyrics. TO THE ECHELON.

THE FIGHT IS DONE, THE WAR IS WON. YOU GUYS ARE MY FAMILY, AND I THINK OF EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU WITH LOVE AND RESPECT.

Writing this has been amazing. I hope you can get a sense of what I was trying to convey - my life, my learning, my experiences, me. I LOVE YOU.

@emibd
₪ ø lll ·o.