Ok, maybe this isn't the story of my life...that would take too much space and time. You see, I've been around almost double the life span of most Echelon, sometimes more. I'm old enough to be Jared and Shannon's slightly older sister. But we're going to skip ahead several years to the first moment I heard Attack on the radio.
It was early summer, 2005. I was fresh out of the hospital, after having a pacemaker/defibrillator "installed"...no, I'm really not that old, yes it was early, I was only in my 30's. The previous year my doctors had found that I had a condition that was most likely caused by a virus that made my heart beat strangely...out of rhythm, and my left ventricle didn't pump by itself. Anyway, I was pretty weary from surgery, and all the new medications I was on when I heard Attack for the first time. I loved it instantly. I went to look online to see who the band was, because the radio hadn't said anything about the song.
I remember sitting at my step son's computer, looking at a picture of 30 Seconds to Mars....and having the distinct feeling that I knew one of the band members. I even said out loud, "Hey, I know that guy!", and my step son replied, "Uh huh, sure you do." and walked away. I then started digging for names of the band members online, and realized where I knew that Jared guy from...My So Called Life. I LOVED that show! I even have that book they put out after the show was over! I was amazed...of course I hadn't seen him in anything in over 10 years...or so I thought. A quick look at IMDB told me that I'd seen plenty of Jared, I just hadn't recognized him.
A little more information online, and I found out that I couldn't buy the cd that had Attack on it, as A Beautiful Lie wasn't out yet. It was a long wait (it seemed like) until the release date when I ran out and bought it. I carefully unwrapped it and kept the great wrap that had the rose on it. I listened to that cd until I thought my family was going to kick me out of my own home. I also bought the self titled cd, but I couldn't even locate it in town, I had to order it online.
Somewhere the next year, 30 Seconds to Mars was on tour and coming to a standing room only smaller venue here in town. I was still pretty sick. I called the venue to see if there was anywhere to sit, and they could only accommodate me if I were in a wheel chair, which I wasn't. It broke my heart to not go see them live. I vowed then that one day I would get to see them live.
I spent a few years with some pretty serious health problems. There are so many parts of my life that were touched because of 30 Seconds to Mars, and Jared's other work as well. I started reading Hubert Selby, Jr because of Requiem for a Dream. Last year I became vegetarian. Last year I had three surgeries, and one of the things that helped pull me through was knowing that soon there would be a new cd, and a new tour...and I was determined I would see them this time!
There wasn't a summit near where I live, but I watched online and wondered what the guys were going to do with everything that was being sent to them. I couldn't believe it the first time I heard Kings and Queens. I was listening online to the premier on KROQ. I felt so happy and so proud ... proud of the guys, proud of the fans, and so proud to be a fan. I remember downloading the cd in December, and crying several times. Between Alibi, and 100 Suns...especially the "beating of our hearts" line, and even lines like "One day it'll all just end", it seemed like my "birthday buddy" as I've been calling Jared for a while now, as we share the not so stupendous December 26th birthday, was writing pieces of my soul for lyrics.
I watched tons of youtube footage of the tour that was happening in Europe. The day the tour dates for America were announced, I called my friend who lives in Arizona. I've known her since I was 11! I was scheduled to go stay with her for 10 days, and the tour was starting in that part of the country while I was there! She said, "They sing that Face is a Map of the World song, right?" (This was actually better than I had hoped for, most of her iPod is 80's haha) I told her we could go to Tuscon, and there was also a Mesa show at that time that was later rescheduled to Phoenix later in May. I also told her the tour was kicking off in Las Vegas, and it was at that moment I knew how much she loved me...she told me to get tickets, she was taking us to VEGAS! There's something about someone who's known you 30something years. They REALLY know you.
I had been kicking around the idea of a tattoo since the end of 2009. Before I went on vacation, I got cherry blossoms on my left lower arm to signify how life is short and beautiful, and only lasts a moment, and underneath I had Beautiful Lie in Kanji, because that album, and that song, kept me going through so much.
The Vegas show was great, so great that when I got home from vacation, I bought tickets to go to Orlando to see them at the House of Blues. This year I have taken three people who were not familiar with 30 Seconds to Mars to concerts, and they have left there blown away, and die hard fans. I met the guys before the show in Orlando, and they are awesome. I took my booklet from my A Beautiful Lie cd with me to get them to sign it.
A few years ago I was so ill, and not able to do half the things I've done this year. Day after tomorrow, I go in the hospital for another surgery...a big one this time. Part of the reason I lived it up so much in April was because I knew this day was coming. But it's ok, Jared, Tomo, and Shannon will be in the hospital with me, on my iPod shuffle, that is only loaded with 30 Seconds to Mars. Their music calms me when nothing else can. The rhythms, the lyrics, everything feels like home.
Thank you, 30 Seconds to Mars...you've helped me in ways that I only touched on the surface here. You are part of my soul, part of my life. And thank you SO MUCH for making This is War so much about the fans. Though my heart beats mechanically, it beats stronger because of you. (and a special thanks to Jared...you inspire me to be a better Capricorn.)
"I believe in nothing, but the beating of our hearts." ~Jared Leto
Me too, birthday buddy, me too.
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